Surprise?

I spent the last week wondering if graduation would be uplifting or depressing. Turns out life threw me a total curve ball: my family succeeded in irking me beyond belief and making it possibly the worst graduation I've ever been to. And I went to one while I had chicken-pox, so that's pretty bad. You know life's out to get you when your family members are big enough assholes to make you feel bad about yourself on the day of your graduation.

But the fireworks were nice. And Mrs. Logan's pronunciation disability was funny.

Inspired by Julia Meng

From Omegle

Connecting to server...

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: hi

You: hey how are you

Stranger: good

Stranger: you?

You: well this is my first time doing this

You: so i guess i'm just kind of weirded out

You: seems like an interesting concept

You: why are you on here for?

Stranger: curiousity

Stranger: where you from?

You: southern california

You: you?

You: we'll try to keep specifics to a minimum

Stranger: England, 20, Male

Stranger: nice and broad

You: haha yeah

You: 18, male

You: are people overly concerned with pedophiles in england, too?

Stranger: yes

Stranger: we don't have the tv shows like you guys

Stranger: 'to catch a predator'

You: ah i wonder what that means

You: it could mean

You: 1) we have more pedophiles

You: 2) our pedophiles are more easily caught

You: 3) britain likes to keep quiet about its pedophiles

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: hi

You: hi

Stranger: asl

You: what does asl mean?

Stranger: girl_

Stranger: ?

You: ooh age sex language?

Stranger: lacation

You: i see

You: 18, male, southern california

You: sorry to dissapoint

You: not a girl

Stranger: yea, so fuck off

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

...the fuck?

Mindhead!

I was feeling very sleepy today. And I've noticed that when I'm sleepy I'm never at all in my right mind. That gets me thinking: if our psychological health is so strongly dependent on our physiological well-being, how do we ever know if we're in our right minds? If our mentality can be so swiftly tossed from side to side, flipped on its head by something as basic as a few hours of sleep, what does that say about the solidarity of our conscious minds or "soul" (or whatever one would call it)? As teenagers, we like to blame our emotional outbursts on hormone imbalances and the like, but at one point you do feel and think a certain way. Who's to say this isn't the real you speaking? Are you someone else for a brief moment?

and to top this off I have picked out a few more six word stories!

Popped. Couldn’t stop. Chronic heart disease.
Only liar. Truthful world. Infinite power.

Interpretation needed

Five zombies. Four bullets. Two zombies.

This was on www.sixwordstories.net . I interpreted it as the guy shoots 3 zombies and then shoots himself, but someone else on the site thought the guy used up all the bullets and then was bitten and became a zombie. The latter makes more sense if the guy didn't know how many rounds he had to begin with, but I like my darker and (arguably, to me at least) funnier interpretation.

Fucked Up Thing #1

So I realized the other day while talking to Maria that I have a lot of fucked up (but cool) ideas that I'm always telling her, but I always forget what they are later. And that's a shame, so I've decided to put them up on the old blog whenever I think of them! So here's Fucked Up Thing #1

No one really remembers themselves being born, which is interesting since it must be such a traumatic and scary experience. But what if one upped the ante? Would a baby remember being born under the most traumatic of circumstances? My idea for a horrible birthing scenario:

Have the mother hanging by her arms from a horizontal pole high above the ground. As the baby is born, it'll fall out of the mother. To make matters even worse, the horizontal pole should be put several meters above the ground so that the baby doesn't hit the ground, but instead falls down and then BOING bounces back up to smack the mother in the uterus (I have no idea how long or elastic umbilical cords are) and then back down and up and down. Simple harmonic motion like you've never seen it before.

Then the baby will swing around for a bit, its tiny little arms flailing about but totally incapable of doing anything. Then SNAP goes the cord and there goes the baby. The beauty in this is that babies have to come out head first, so it'll fall and land on its head. The baby's short limbs will be easy to tuck in so the baby spirals downward like a compact bullet. And the icing on the cake: ever heard the Doppler Effect applied to a crying baby plummeting down through the sky? I haven't, and now I'm dying to know what it's like.

Chaplin Snakker

Lasse Gjersten made a song based on the speech in Charlie Chaplin's "The Great Dictator." The original clip is below.

The little things are fun to destroy

Being stuck in a rut isn't fun.

Here's one definition of a rut:
1. an annually recurrent state of sexual excitement in the male deer ; broadly : sexual excitement in a mammal especially when periodic

Unfortunately, this wasn't that kind of rut. It wasn't broadly sexual or exciting, and there were no periodic mammals in site.

I got stuck on a Sudoku puzzle last night. Then, I worked that damn thing all of this afternoon, and while stuck staring at my half-empty (you get pretty pessimistic in a rut) grid, I kind of just sat there waiting for an answer to come. But it didn't.

So I decided I'd take a try reading the instruction page in the book. Turns out they teach you a strategy that I hadn't considered before. I never thought of reading the instructions before. After all, I'd finished plenty of the difficult puzzles using the strategies I thought up.

I proceeded to finish the puzzle in the next 15 minutes.

The lesson here? I'm a genius. Just kidding. The lesson is that when you're in a rut, you can never wait and hope for someone to come pick you up; you've got to dig yourself out, and sometimes that means going back to the beginning.